divorce · Parenting · single parenting

Being A Single Mom Sucks

I used to make fun of that saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”, but it’s true. You may not need a whole entire neighborhood but another set of hands would be nice.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. I feel like I have to put that out there so no one calls the Department of Health and Human Services on me. I enjoy my time with them and every day they teach me, yes me, something new about life, love and most importantly empathy. They are truly wonderful children.

That said…

I’m tired and thinking my own mother didn’t know how good she had it. She raised my brother and I on her own but we also lived with my grandparents. She had backup care if she had to go to work and we were off, shoot she had back up care if she wanted to watch General Hospital. Me, not so much. My children’s grandparents are already gone and I live far away from any familial help so that means, it’s all on me and let me tell you, all on me sucks.

Today, my savings grace is a snow day that will keep all of us at home and them in bed an extra hour later so I can do things like write this blog or watch a rerun of Gilmore Girls. The daily monotony of getting them all up, doing school drop offs, going to work, picking everyone up, making dinner and giving baths has gotten old.

It got old, real quick.

No one tells you how awful it is when you’re sick, the kids are sick and you just have to pull on your big girl panties and make it work. It would have been wonderful to just pull the covers over my head and sleep off the flu but I couldn’t. I never knew my body could function on 0 hours of sleep and 103 fever but it can. It’s amazing what just sheer will can do. We may have lived on Chinese food take out for three days but at least it had veggies in it. I am now a firm believer that Won Ton soup can cure anything.

Life was nice when there was another set of hands around. Someone to do things when you were tired or just plain old didn’t feel like it. It was nice to have someone to cook dinner, when you were out of ideas and didn’t want take out again. With someone else helping out, it left me free time to plan fun things to do with the kids. Now, I’d just be happy to not have to struggle for thirty minutes with a jar of spaghetti sauce. I would start an upper body workout to have more strength but I seriously don’t have the time.

I tell myself, I do it all for them. I say this to myself at night when I’m alone snuggled up next to my boyfriend pillow. The kids are happy and that’s all that matters. I focus on the fact that one day, my circumstances could change. One day is a nice dream but today it would be nice not to have to take the damn trash out or clean the snow off my car.

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5 thoughts on “Being A Single Mom Sucks

  1. This is beautiful. Parenting itself is already hard and I can’t imagine parenting with no support. I’m only able to reply to you now because my daughter is asleep, but when we both wake up in the morning my mother-in-law is there to help me take care of her while I prepare food. You’re a superwoman—and I hope your kids see what you’re doing for them, learn from you and grow up to be super people like their Momma. 🙂

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    1. Thank you Jackie! Some days it’s so incredibly hard and then other days it’s super easy. The one thing that our situation has done is create a bond that I don’t think we would have had otherwise. So if there’s one good thing to come out of it, it’s that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This caught my eye because you’ve started with the same quote I did on monday, which started a HUGE movement PROMOTING the village. I hope you might join us.

    In the meantime, your willpower is a force to be reckoned with and I really hope that you feel better soon.

    And a tip – slide the back end of a thin fork under the edge of a sealed jar and lever it backwards to break the airtight seal, then the lid should be easier to remove. *hugs*

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