Life · life lessons

The Answer To Why

I want to know why? Have you ever sat around and looked at the people around you, at their lives and wondered what makes them so special? Why have they found love, success, happiness, wealth, and dream fulfillment and you’re sitting there holding the bag of sloppy seconds? If you’ve ever sat back and pondered such questions, then this post is for you because I’m going to answer the question.

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Before I got on it, I lived in relative seclusion. I don’t have many friends that keep in contact with me on the regular and the ones that do, well their lives are just as shitty as mine is. It’s the old saying, misery loves company. We’ve got a lot of it over here. The only in your face, this is how much of a failure you are incidents happen when my college friends invite me over. There’s a happy remedy for that, I just stopped returning their calls. It’s easy not to have to see the looks of “I feel sorry for you” when they are out sight/out of mind.

Now, my phone taunts me. Every time a notification comes in announcing an anniversary and how in love they still are after 15 years or who’s having a baby with their soul mate. It got to the point where I was so miserable about my own life that I had to do a purge. I went from over 400 friends down to 90. Anyone who was even the slightest bit happy got eliminated. I don’t want to hear about how wonderful your husband is because he bought you a brand new Jetta. I only want to hear from people who are having a shitty go of it, just like me. All you shiny happy people can go suck it.

After doing all that, I felt a little better. I was surrounded by peers until one day, things started turning around for the 90 people I had left. There was bright, happy sunshine shining on them and the rain cloud was still following me around. I wondered why? What are they doing that I’m not? Then, like Archimedes in the bathtub, I figured it out. The reasons why your life will forever suck while other people seem to shit happiness.

The Easiest Answers

  1. Chemical Imbalance – You were born this way. Depression sucks and it makes the world look like everything sucks when it really doesn’t
  2. Short Straw – Some people were just born lucky and unfortunately you got the short straw.
  3. Laziness – This only answers the why some people have money and others don’t. If you continue to learn and work hard you’ll get there. It may take longer than others, see also number 2.

The More Philosophical Ones

  1. Past Life Transgressions – You had it great in your previous life, you could have been a Queen or a Captain of industry but right now, in this life, you’re paying for it. It sucks, but oh well.
  2. Deserve it – You have the worst karma in the world so you deserve everything that’s happening to you.
  3. Other World Explanations – I read a short story by Stephen King and in it he tells the story of a man plagued by his neighbor’s good fortune until one day he finds out that he can have good luck too all he has to do is shift his bad luck to someone else. He made the deal and his neighbor had one bad thing after another happen to them, while he became rich and his children flourished. I know quite a few A-holes that I would feel zero remorse about shifting my crappy luck over to them. Even just for 10 years of happiness, it would be worth it.

I’m just so immensely tired of it all and this blog post is my wish sent out into the world for it all to end. It either needs to end or it needs to get better because I can’t take it anymore. The doors being slammed in my face, the constant stream of NO from the world, of everything I hold dear turning to dust in my hands. I’m not asking for fame or fortune, I want what you have. Happiness, love, a spouse to come home to, happy memories, laughter, joy, smiling and peace.

 

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