Aging · Life · life lessons

35 Is The New 25

I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid. I sing this song in my head whenever I think about the fact that I’m going to turn 35 this year. According to Marie Claire, this is the age when I’m supposed to have all my stuff together. In some ways I do, in other ways I really don’t. I would like to say that I was one of those people I so envy. The girls who went through college unscathed, got their master’s degrees and went on to have wonderful careers before meeting their equally wonderful husbands. Then they bought enormous houses with their stellar credit, took amazing vacations and sowed their oats before settling down with their equally marvelous children at the ripe old age of 35. Yeah, that wasn’t me. 

I took the six year plan to get out of college. Never did make it to Law school. Had a series of train wreck relationships that culminated in a train wreck of a marriage, got divorced and remarried (with kids). I have student loan debt and crap credit. Oh, and did I mention I just now figured out what I want to be when I grow up. If you’d like to call me a late bloomer, I’d be okay with that.

The problem is, I look around at all my friends and acquaintances, they all seem so “adult”. These are the same people that used to get so drunk they pooped their pants on the way home from the bar and now they’re telling me that I can’t say the word crap around their kids. When did “crap” become a bad word, at least I didn’t say sh**. Everyone is so serious, seriously boring and I still think farts are funny. When did all my friends grow up and how did I get left behind?

I guess my problem begins with the fact that when I look in the mirror I still see a girl of 18. Fresh out of high school, ready to go and conquer the world. The problem is when I walk out of the bathroom, I have three kids who want breakfast, need a homework check or their butt wiped. World domination will have to wait until nap time. A lot of things will have to wait now, it seems.

I wasted the majority of my youth. I didn’t travel extensively like my friends did, I didn’t sow my oats. I spent my time working and trying to graduate college, the other half of my 20’s I spent chasing men I shouldn’t have been chasing. My 20’s were filled with low self esteem and the poor choices that came with it. “If I knew then what I know now”, should be the tramp stamp I carry on my backside. 

I find myself now planning adventures with my husband, like our recent trip to Times Square to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve. Nothing makes you feel more middle aged than standing out in 20 degree weather for hours on end. I have never been the person who let the rising number of her age bother her. In fact, I so often tell my husband, now 40, that I couldn’t wait to be that old because I had hoped to be more mature by then. Now, I’m eating those words.

I don’t want to be 35 when I still feel 25 in my heart. Tomorrow I should wake up and this all was just a dream. I was Freaky Fridayed, forced to swap bodies with some strange 35 year old woman and now I can return home to my 25 year old self. Granted, there are perks to being 35. It took me all of my 20’s and part of my 30’s to get comfortable in my own skin. It took having kids to realize what’s important in life and a near death experience for me to give me the push to go after what I want. There’s a lot of life in those 15 years and a lot of lessons learned the hard way.

I want to be one of those women, the ones that grow old gracefully. I’m not just talking about physically but emotionally. I don’t want to feel like I’m the odd woman out because I still laugh at farts or pull the same pranks on my husband that I used to pull on roommates in college.  I don’t want to get to 40 and feel like it’s all downhill from this point onward. I don’t want to enter a different phase of life either. Honestly, I just want to stop time and hang out for awhile.

 

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37 thoughts on “35 Is The New 25

  1. Uh, I’m forty and you sound waaaaay more mature than me!! Lol.

    I took turning 40 pretty hard. I didn’t expect it, but when the day came, I was all whoah is me!! I did make it through law school, and that debt pisses me off every month, so be glad you don’t have that maybe?

    Anyway, I still feel pretty good and like I’m right where I want to be. Somewhere out there, there are women who are 45 or 55 writing that they wished they were 35 again, so you have that going for you, right? Stay young at heart and the body will follow suit! I just made that up, but whatever. And 5 kids? Holy fuck! Can I say that here? Sorry, if not.

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    1. Yay! Don has finally made it over to my humble page. (took you long enough) LOL Did I say that??? Yes, you can say that, I say that all the time. While I know there are always people out there wishing they had my problems. Grass greener syndrome.

      I know I’m waaaayyy more mature than you lol but actually since women mature faster than men we’re actually the same age.

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  2. I’m 30 and still think about what I want to be “when I grow up.” I feel like I’m a bit behind in some ways but living in a city helps. When I lived down in Florida I felt way behind my settled down friends.

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    1. I wish I lived in the city but living in DC is just way too expensive with 5 kids but you can bet once half of them leave the nest I’m moving. The last two can join us in the city.

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  3. I feel you! I just turned 31, and feel all of 22 years old. It took me 10 years – basically, my entire 20s – to graduate with a Master’s, and I too have only now just figured out what I’m doing.
    Heck, better late than never! So many amazing women don’t make it big until they’re a little older anyway.

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  4. OK…..Don’t be so hard on yourself! You only look about 20. (Compliment) I just turned 51, and you know what? IT’S JUST A #…..You have a lot LIFE to live. I became a 1st time published author on my 50th B-day, so “REACH FOR THE STARS” at any age I say! Trust me, if you read my book/Story of what I went through in life, you have a HUGE HEAD START for a “BEAUTIFUL FULL LIFE” ahead!
    God Bless, *Catherine* 🙂

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    1. You’re one of the people I speak of, the ones living it up at any age. Everyone says I look about 20, I carded every where. I love it now when they card me and not my husband. LOL Thank you for your kind words.

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  5. I’m going to be 36 in a few months so I am right there with ya. I remember my father telling me once that he was a young guy stuck in an old guy’s body. I totally understand what he means now! I don’t know if we ever really “grow” up? I keep waiting to feel like an adult and it just isn’t happening! ha

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  6. I am approaching 50, and I have found that it just gets better and better. All the insecurities and angst tend to drop away. And those women who seem so together probably aren’t, by the way. I wouldn’t mind it if my knees were still 25, but otherwise, it’s all good.

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  7. I just turned 43 before Christmas. I think it’s awesome that you’re still pulling pranks on your husband. Marriage is a serious business too much of the time – horseplay keeps it fresh.

    I still laugh at farts too – like this one time a friend was over and I was wondering why there was a dog barking in my yard because my dog was in the house and meanwhile it was just a really epic fart.

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  8. I feel younger than I am too. I hope it just means we will hold onto our health longer! Who wants to be serious all the time?? I was way too serious when I was younger. It’s no fun.

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  9. 35 HAS to be the new 25 because I’ll be 35 in two months. I think you’re as old as you feel. I’m goofier now than I was when I was 25. Who said when we turned 35 we had to magically be serious + stiff lol? We only get one life so I say live it to the fullest, laugh at farts and play pranks with your hubby.

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  10. I enjoyed this, Michelle! Keep being the young-at-heart woman that you are. Yes, we are growing old every day we live on this earth…but we don’t have to “be” old.

    I just turned 37 earlier this month, and I am LOVING it. Why? I’m wiser, I’ve experienced more, and I even think I look better (save for my tummy pooch, which is the result of having 2 kids in two years.)

    Embrace aging! After all: It’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative. 😉

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  11. This is like reading a page written straight from my mind! I am 35 but I don’t feel that all. Not so much physically but in that I gotta be a mature grown up with rules kinda way. I love having fun, running through the mall chasing my Hubby for no reason (yeah we have) playing video games, etc. Yes, I am Momma and I fill that role but who says that is all I am? Great post! Inspiring and thought provoking…

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  12. Happy Sits Day…I’m 38 and can’t wait to be forty. I truly believe we are meant to age, it’s natural and beautiful. We should never apologize for aging and not still be youthful. I love my grays, and going to rock being forty. Age is just a number, just way to show how far you have come and how you lived. I still feel like I’m 20 sometimes…who says I have to ACT like a soon to be 40 year old…I am who I am.
    loving this post…

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  13. Happy SITS day! Wow, this is really honest. You are an excellent writer, too. I think all your friends sound way too serious now Like you, I didn’t really party or travel in my twenties. My 30′s are excellent because I am so confident now in who I am and who I want to be. I’m with you.

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  14. Slow the train down …. haha….I just turned forty a few months ago and I don’t like it one bit. Instead of a single strand of gray, there’s 6 …it’s like they were waiting for the big 4 0 to give me a mini heart attack. I haven’t spotted any wrinkles …yet…knock on wood…..but those dark circles under my eyes are getting darker each and every day. urgh.

    You’re doing great ….it’s your timeline, you can do whatever you choose WHEN you choose to do it. Who cares about the boring fuddiytuddies!!

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  15. You look, 25 so that’s saying something! I just turned 36 and I feel like I’m starting to look old. I guess it had to happen. I remember my youth like it was yesterday but then I realize it was a long time ago! I grew up in Wilmington and hung out in Philly a lot and went to college outside Philly so you and I probably have a lot of the same memories.

    You’re as young as you feel. If you feel young, you are young. Plain and simple. I married an older man. He’s young and energetic, I’m old and crotchety, so we meet in the middle! Age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

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  16. Mindy Kaling is 34, and I’m SURE she still thinks farts are funny!!
    Thank you for commenting on this, though. I am in my 20s and many of my friends are engaged (some even have kids) and sometimes I can’t help but look around and wonder if I did something or am doing something wrong. From where I sit, seems like you have your s**t more together than a lot of 35 year olds I know!

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  17. I think it is in the heart of us all to want to age beautifully. I wrote an article last month on this very thing. I turned 50 last year, and it was actually so much more freeing than I ever would have imagined. Don’t let a number tell you how to live. Be fully alive every year.

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  18. Time flies doesn’t it! You should stay young at heart forever and it is great that you still feel that way even after some really adult stuff you’ve had to push through. Visiting from SITS – cheers!

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  19. I think it’s great that at 35 you still feel 25. Getting older shouldn’t mean that you have to become to serious to enjoy a good fart joke or prank. I’m 32 and I feel like I’ve matured and in some ways I feel older than some people my age, but in other ways I feel younger. I think we should all live our lives in a way that is most comfortable to us.

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  20. Hi, visiting you via the SITS girls! I am a kid at heart also, maybe that’s why I enjoy so much designing toys! Very nice post, women can grow old gracefully, I have met a few who have. Wish you the best with your blog!

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  21. I think so many of us can relate to this post. I turned 38 this month and still feel like I am in my 20′s. Except I am not because I have a lot more responsibilities now! I think it boils down to how you want to look at it. How we chose to identify ourselves.

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