My twin sons got me this gift for Christmas, which really means that my husband got me this gift for Christmas. Since we are all a bunch of “broken fridges”, I got it early. As I read it, I thought this is really good advice for people in general about life, love and marriage. If you plan on making resolutions this New Year, why not add a few of these.
1. Fall In Love.
It’s as simple as that. Once you fall in love, all things comes from it. All life’s triumphs and disappointments come from being in love with someone or something. I love writing but most of my disappointment comes in the form of every rejection letter I get. I enjoy doing it, so I keep plugging away. I love my husband but sometimes living with someone day in a day out they start to drive you crazy but you keep plugging away. You slosh through the quicksand of everyday life to get to those moments or days when everything clicks and you feel on top of the world.
2. Be Passionate and Fearless.
Those things go hand in hand when you’re passionate about someone you can’t be afraid that one day they will hurt you, you just have to go for it. You have to cross your fingers and jump.
3. Be Thoughtful and Generous.
Every time I get annoyed by the kids or even the husband, they do something thoughtful or generous that reminds me why I love them. Case in point, this weekend. It was cold, a storm was impending all sorts of doom and gloom. Which meant, I felt like crap. I was mildly irritated with everyone and I still had to put in my volunteer hours at the library. While I was gone, the husband took the liberty of taking all the kids out shopping for my Christmas gifts, during his trip he helped my kids pick out gifts for their bio-dad. He didn’t have to that. I would say that that job should fall directly on my shoulders. Being the generous and thoughtful person that he is, he did it for me. This reminded me of number 13, see below.
4. Listen To Your Heart.
If you read The Last Blog, it pretty much emphasized the need to follow your heart in all things. Everyone has that little voice inside to guide them. You can call it your heart, conscience, gut, the little man on your shoulder but whatever you call “it” you should always listen. It won’t steer you wrong.
5. Believe in Love at First Sight.
I didn’t always believe in love at first sight. To be honest with you I didn’t really believe in love. Other than the love between a parent and child, I never really saw or had any examples of what love should be like between two adults. I didn’t believe “love” existed. Not in the “lightning bolt” love sort of way. I often wondered how and why people would get hung up on someone they barely even knew. It wasn’t until I met my husband, that I started to believe.
6. Hold Hands.
I’ll be honest, this is my husband’s thing. He likes to always hold hands. He’ll do it in the car, walking around a store, sitting in front of the TV watching zombies. He always wants to hold hands and because kids watch everything we do and don’t, now the twins have started doing it. They will sit beside me on the couch and wrap their little fingers around mine. I realized it’s not so much the act of holding hands it’s their little way of saying I love you and I just want a little contact with you.
7. Laugh Nervously.
If I teach my kids nothing else, I hope I have taught them the ability to laugh at themselves. Everyone does something embarrassing or says something they wish they hadn’t every day. Shoot, I do something at least every hour. Probably why I have the ability to laugh at myself. Life is too short to be that serious.
8. Learn From Each Other.
Everyone in your life has something to teach you, even your kids. Some people give you life lessons that you remember and carry forever like my grandfather. Some of your kids may teach you generosity and encourage you to slow down and see life differently or give you the gift of patience. The one person you will constantly learn from is your spouse. I’m not just talking about learning how to play Scrabble or the proper way to hold a Golf club. You might learn those things too, but I’m talking about learning about yourself. Your spouse is the one person who hopefully sees you the way no other person does and if you let them, they can help you grow.
9. Run Away Together.
If you’ve got kids, I don’t even need to explain the need for you to get the hell out of dodge every once in a while. Sometimes, you just need to get away from life and all its responsibilities. It’s gets tiring and no matter how much you enjoy it, it will bring you down. Nothing is more reviving then getting away from it all for a weekend.
10. Be Patient and Kind with Your Words.
I once heard that words are like toothpaste, once it’s out the tube it’s near impossible to get it back in. Once you say something hurtful, no matter how much it’s “forgiven” it’s always there. That’s why they say forgive and forget. Something is never really forgiven until it’s forgotten. If you keep in mind to always be patient with people. Some people are not as far along in their life journey as others. There are as many immature 35 year olds as there are mature ones. Don’t assume that just because someone is an “adult” that they are going to act like you do or think like you do. If you’re patient and kind with your words with people then you have nothing to worry about being forgiven for later or worrying how long it will take for them to forget.
11. Grow Old Together.
How wonderful it would be to grow old with someone. That is the dream. I was reminded this week how fragile a dream it can be. Cherish the time you have and don’t let anything get in the way of it, no matter how big or small it may seem at the moment.
12. Kiss Each Other Goodnight.
Sometimes we kiss goodnight passionately other times it’s just a peck at the end of a long day. Doesn’t matter if you mean it or not, just do it. Sometimes a kiss is all it takes for all your irritation to melt away. Also, going to bed in a good mood helps you sleep better.
13. Remember Why You Fell in Love.
This comes in handy so many times throughout a marriage. There are times in every marriage where either you have driven your spouse up the wall, across the ceiling and down the other side or vice versa. In those instances where you start to feel like the Pink song, True Love, it’s helps to remember why you’re there in the first place.
14. This Is Your Happily Ever After.
Believe it because it’s yours. It may not be the storybook ending you hoped it would be but you won’t really find that out until you’re dead and then it’s too late to really do anything about it. The happily ever after is all the stuff that occurs in between the first hello to the last goodbye.