Music · NaBloPoMo

A Life In Song: NaBloPoMo Day 11

I live in music. It was my life from the time I was old enough to know what music was. When Blogger Idol had their competition and they asked for us to write our eulogies. I did something quick and trite. Nothing at all like what I would actually want. When I die, I would want the music to speak for me. To tell the world this is what my life was, this is how I lived it and this is how I died. So I give you, my life in song.


Crowded House – Don’t Dream it’s Over.

I was an 80’s kid. I loved the 80’s and I still say the best music came out of that era. When ever I think about my childhood I think of this song. It definitely would symbolize the years from birth to age 12.

 

 

Alanis Morisette – You Outta Know
Being a teen in the 90’s was interesting. It was a mix of Rock and Rap music that formed the soundtrack to those years. This song WAS the soundtrack to my teen years and it was how we all felt. We all wanted to yell and scream at our parents, our siblings, our friends, the world. We were tired and we didn’t want to take it anymore. You Outta Know gave me a voice and it was LOUD.
Rascal Flatts – I’m Moving On.
I’m not going to paint a pretty picture for you. I was glad to leave home. I was glad to get the heck out of Philly. All my life, I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. The first time I heard this song, it was like someone knew me and wrote down how I felt about it. Especially the line, “I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces, each one is different but they’re all still the same. They mean me no harm but it’s time that I face it, they’ll never allow me to change. But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong.” So I moved on.

 

Pistol Annie’s – Takin’ Pills
Ah, the college years… Well, I wasn’t in a band and to be honest with you, I don’t smoke and I didn’t drink. I was the one taking pills. Lots of them. Either no one knew, no one cared or I was just too much fun. I look back now and I wound up in places and situations where I’m lucky I didn’t catch something or wind up in the ditch my Mother always talked about. Looking back now I’m really mortified by my behavior. No wonder it took me 5 years (almost 6 to be honest) to finish college.
 

 

Sara Bareilles – Gravity
 

A lot of my problem back then was my first love. Or rather the first person that ever showed me any kind of attention and affection. To call him my first love would give him more importance than I actually want to. When I first heard this song, I thought I could have written this about him because back then if you would have read my journals, all this was in there. One day, I was singing this song in the car and my step daughter asked me, how could I sing this song with such emotion? I told her, sometimes when you go through things and a song triggers it, you can bring how you felt back then forward and pour it all into the music and leave it there.



Beth Hart – Leave The Light On
My early twenties were an absolute disaster but at least I can be honest about it. I did so much crap to myself that no one ever saw. I was a cutter. I was a messed up teen who turned into a messed up young adult. I wanted to be loved by anyone who would love me, I always left the light on. “I don’t know what to do. Can the damage be undone? I swore to God I would never be, what I’ve become.”
 
 

 

Julie Roberts – The Chance
Then my Grandmother, Mother and Grandfather died. Literally a year apart of each other. I started to think about life. What was I doing to myself and to others? When was I actually going to start living life? Then I thought about my Mother. Her wishes and dreams that never got fulfilled and this song embodies that.
 
 
Miranda Lambert – The House The Built Me
My late 20s after everyone passed away and things were settled, I often wanted to go back to the house I spent 18 years of my life in. I’d love to take my children back there and just sit on the floor and look around. Just remember.
 
Mindy Smith – Down In Flames
 
I got married too young and for all the wrong reasons. No surprise it ended in divorce right? I have my gorgeous kids so I’m not mad about it. We’re still friends and everything is good. So all’s well that ends well. When I was going through it, it was a totally different story. I listened to this song all the time. I felt like I was going down in flames and had no one around who understood or wanted to understand and all I wanted was for someone to listen and tell me that “life is hard”.
 
Michael Buble – Just Haven’t Met You Yet
At this point, I’m in my 30’s and for some reason I was profoundly optimistic that I would find someone. That things would turn around. I could blame it on having a near death experience but whatever it was, it changed me. 
 
Jason Mraz – I’m Yours
Then I met my husband. It really was like the Michael Buble video with ticker tape and band playing. It didn’t take us long to decide we wanted to get married. He wrote our vows and thank God he did because even though I’m the “writer”, if I would have written them they would have simply said, “this is our fate,I’m yours.”
 
The Band Perry – Better Dig Two
This song pretty much sums up my views toward my second marriage. Even though we got married pretty quickly into our relationship we both went into with the mindset of this will work. End of story. 
 
 
John Mayer – Walt Grace’s Submarine Test January 1967

My 30’s have really been a time of total introspection for me. I don’t know if that’s part of the maturing process or some sort of Eureka that was supposed to happen at 40 but like most things hit me early. All I know is, when I heard this song and the lyric, “Walt Grace desperately hating his old place, dreamed to discover a new space and buried himself alive. When you’re done with this world, you know the rest is up to you. And his wife told his kids he was crazy and his friends said he’d fail if tried. But with a will to work hard and a library card, he made a homemade, fan-blade, one man submarine ride.”  This song prompted me to start writing again because like the song, I had a dream of being a writer but I thought I would fail if I tried. So I never did, until now.

 
Train – Hey, Soul Sister
If there was one song that I think would adequately sum up life with the kids, it would be this song. My family loves Train. So much so, we took the older kids this summer to see them in concert. They had a blast. I wish we could have taken the entire family but the younger ones are just to young, in my opinion. When I hear this song, I see them in my head in the back of the van all singing together sounding better than the Jackson 5. 
Miranda Lambert – Only Prettier

One of the things I would have never anticipated about having kids and being a blended family is navigating the “world” of school and PTA’s. I totally hate the cliquishness of parent groups and being a third wife, it’s really ten times worse. Whenever I go to a school event for my older children they treat me like I’m persona non  grata. They know nothing about me but they automatically assume that they know everything. I wind up hanging out with other second, third and fourth wives and all the first wives look at us with scorn and contempt. Instead of saying, “you know what, you guys are here for the kids and that’s great”. So whenever I think about PTA, I think about this song, us second, third and fourth wives are “just like you, only prettier”. ; )

 
Counting Crows – Long December
I love this song and it would totally symbolize my life as I approach old age.The introspection and regrets which I hope I won’t have too many. 
 
Phillip Phillips – Gone, Gone, Gone
The loss of a spouse is something that I don’t even want to think about but like many things in life, it’s inevitable. People live, people die. I’m the type of person when I love someone, it doesn’t end and this song expresses that emotion for me. 

 

Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick
If there was ever a song to sum up my life in total and how I lived, it would be this one. As I have gotten older, I wish I would have listened to my mother on a lot of things and not on some others. This song, to me, is about having the last word and telling all the people that have hurt me in life to bugger off, I’m going home and you’re stuck here with all the worldly junk but I won’t have to deal with it anymore.

 

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