I was reading a very good blog today and of course now I can’t find it. I had to jump through hoops and retrace my steps but I found it. It’s A Mother Life. The Blog I just happened to stumble upon was “How to Cheat Proof Your Marriage”. The Blogger’s advice, I totally agree with. So why am I writing about it? It was one of the comments that piqued my interest and spurred this blog entry. The commenter, Soontobesingledad posed the question, what if it’s the reverse? How do men keep their wives from cheating? Good question, here’s your answer.
Have you ever watched the movie Shrek? In the first one, Shrek says, “Ogres are like onions, they have many layers”. Women are the same way. Men cheat because of a lack of physical attention. To get down to the nitty gritty for a woman you have to get on their level, their emotional level and it has MANY layers.
Women are talkers. It’s probably why there are so many women bloggers. We have a lot to say and we use more words then men in a day to say it. So the first thing a man can do to cheat proof his marriage is LISTEN. Really hear what she’s saying and participate in the conversation. We know we gossip about stuff you care less about but would you rather she tell that boring crap to you or to some Joe who is willing to hear it. Most affairs begin this way, with a guy who is willing to listen because the man you have at home won’t.
Women like to be romanced. It doesn’t have to be rose petals on the bed and candles romanced. Find out what she likes and surprise her as much as you can. Kiss the back of her neck while she’s making dinner. Never stop opening the door for her, pulling out her chair or any of the other things you did while you were dating that made her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to you. Those things are why she fell in love with you and why she’ll stay in love with you come hell or high water. If she always feels like she first in your life, she won’t seek to be first in someone else’s. Even if you have to make it routine so you don’t forget. Start by bringing home a surprise every Friday on your way home from work. A Hallmark card that you write a note in is a good way to start.
Show her that you appreciate her. She works all day, either in the home or outside or both. She takes care of the kids, makes you a meal and keeps your house clean. Even if you’re one of those exceptional guys that helps out around the house, let her know you appreciate her. Say, “thank you”. Say, “I love you”. Say, “I appreciate you”. Do this often.
Most women aren’t sexual creatures. Some of us are and some of us aren’t. Some women can take it or leave it, some need it like they need chocolate and for others, it’s a necessary evil. Whatever category your woman falls into, you need to meet that need. If she’s not that sexual, it may not have anything to do with you, it could be that she just doesn’t feel all that sexy. So go to Victoria’s Secret and pick her out something that YOU think she would look sexy in. Bring it home and put a note on it for her to wear it this evening. Sometimes we don’t feel sexy at all, it’s the occupational hazard that comes with raising kids. They pull the sexy right out of you. Sometimes we need a little nudge to get our sexy back. If that doesn’t work a Leonardo DiCaprio movie marathon, perhaps. I don’t know, I’m really grasping at straws here on that one. It’s different for every woman. For me, it’s just the idea of knowing that no matter how old, wrinkled or fat I get, my husband still thinks I’m built enough to wear Vicky Secrets and that is enough for me.
All women want is a companion. Someone to travel this life with and the woman you’re with chose you for better or worse. When you start to emotional check out of the relationship, a woman will look for someone else to talk to. Someone who will think she’s awesome, the way you used to. This is my advice to the men out there who want to know how to cheat proof their marriage. If you’re the self-help type, read The Five Love Languages and The Love Dare. Then pour you and your spouse a cup of tea and shoot the shit.