Marriage

Snooze Button: Hit Me Baby One More Time

 

It’s 5:30 AM and I’m already annoyed. This is no way to start the day.

One of the great things about marriage is the fact that you will never be alone. You have a partner to share life’s moments. Someone to cuddle up next to on a cold winter’s night. These are just a few of the million perks of being married. What’s not a perk? Differing sleep habits.

You know how sometimes you go to bed full of piss and vinegar for the next day? You’re going to get up early, hit the gym and then go on to work. Last night was one of those night for the Hubby. This is the reason he sets his alarm for 5:30am. Doing so will give him enough time to get up, get dressed, hit the gym, come home, shower and go to work. This idea is great in theory, in execution not so much.

To be fair, my husband works very hard. He’s tired and when that alarm goes off at 5:30 AM, he’s going to hit the snooze button.  It’s supposed to be the sound of a waterfall set to music. Very soothing and relaxing.

The Husband’s Alarm

That’s his real alarm.

To me it sounds like this a factory alarm signaling the end of the work day or an air raid siren.

 

Once the alarm goes off, I’m wide awake. Laying there, pissed off because he’s not getting up. He’s hit the snooze button. That means that every five minutes from now until he decides to get up I will hear the Factory Alarm.

 

Sometimes, like this morning he will shut it off and just use my alarm that I have set for the kids to get up. That isn’t very helpful either. While he’s lying there all curled up beside me like a cherub, I’m steaming. Thoughts of, “why” are going through my head.  All the while, I’m hearing him breathing in my ear, already asleep and the dog whimpering and snorting because he’s trying to chase down that Wascally Wabbbit. Basically, I’m not going to sleep anytime soon.

I lay there, listening to the sounds of the house. I try counting sheep or counting the members of the zombie hoard as they eat said sheep. I try to imagine my neighbors as zombies. I plan out what I’m going to do for the day that has now started for me at 5:30. I write parts of my novel in my head, I plan my blog for the day.  All these things, I do while he’s in sleep so peaceful it makes the insomniac in me jealous.

Then finally, sleep finds me. This occurs right after I’ve had that “Eureka” moment that I positively won’t remember when I wake up. I doze off into a peaceful sleep only to have the kids alarm go off five minutes later. I get up to start my day, no snooze buttons for me, feeling a little like Rodney Dangerfield in his usual self-pitying mood.

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