When you were a kid, did your parents have these weird sayings? You know the ones that made absolutely no sense but now you find yourself saying them as adult.
You Will Drive Me To Drink!
I used to get this one all the time, you’re going to drive me to drink. As a kid, I didn’t understand what drinking was or how you could drive someone too it. After kids and three years with Drama, I can totally understand that phrase. I have been pushed to limits I didn’t know I had and some days the only thing that will calm the frayed nerves is a nice glass of wine. It really doesn’t even have to be a nice glass, it could be box o’wine for all I care. As long as it has a proof that will put me into a nice relaxed state, I don’t really care most days. Nothing takes the edge off a LONG day like a glass of something.
Shut The Door, For Crying Out Loud.
I used to get so sick and tired of being yelled at for shutting the front door. As a kid, I would think, but I’m going right back out. Little did I know that every time I ran in and out I was letting in a slew of flies. I wish I could call my Grandma and tell her I’m sorry for leaving the door open. Nothing is worse than trying to cook a meal while you’re swatting flies. Some days I feel like I’m living in the Amityville house. So please shut the friggin door.
Because I Said So.
I love toddlers, I really do. Toddlers who ask a million questions, not so much. Kids who ask why for everything, not so much. Just do it for Pete’s sake, whoever Pete is, just do it for him ok? Dang. I remember whenever my Mother said, because I said so. That was it, conversation done. Not these kids, because I said so usually leads to why do say so, which then leads to another glass of wine.
When I was your age, I did X, Y and Z.
I can’t even believe I say this now. I automatically feel 60 at the thought of it. I find myself telling the older kids this ALL the time. When I was your age, I didn’t do this. When I was your age, I didn’t do that. Do they really care about what I did and didn’t do? Not really. I didn’t care back then either. I usually just rolled my eyes and got smacked for rolling my eyes. Then told how they didn’t roll their eyes at their parents when they were my age.
You’ll live was used for a plethora of situations. Everything from skinned knees to trying new foods. This saying mostly gets used for wipe outs. When they come to you and they’re dying. Arms and knees are about to fall off and you don’t even see a scratch and you’re thinking, “Really kid, you’ll live.” It’s usually partnered with, “Well, you did it”. To be used in instances where you told them to stop doing something, they snuck off and did it anyway and now they are hurt.
You Did This To Yourself.
This one is mostly used for lil Drama. More often than not, she did bring it on herself. More often than not, I brought it on myself too but no one likes to be told about it. It’s like the parental, “I told you so”. Really, I know I screwed up, thanks for pointing that out. Yeah…
There Are People Starving In (insert random third world country) Who Would Eat That.
I said this once, to which Bry replied, “Well give it to them then”. Yep, didn’t have the same effect it had on me, on them. She’s the humanitarian in the family.
Hay Is For Horses.
My Grandfather, God bless him, used to say this all the time. I never knew what it meant. I still don’t know. What does Hey have to do with Hay? Yay, you just taught about homophones granddad, thanks. Want me to name some more?
And the Granddaddy of them all:
I Hope You Have One Just Like You.
Well, if that isn’t the curse to end all curses. Really, Mom. Thanks. I have thought this saying a million times but I’ve never said it. Mostly because I know one day I will wind up babysitting and I don’t want to go through this twice.
So what did I learn from writing this? That we all one day turn into our parents, whether we fight it or not.